Playing a co-op game for the first time with friends who are very good at it
i can ship you if you want
why are my parents always like “go to bed.” i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.